Mother’s Day is just around the corner, and to me, this “Hallmark Holiday” is actually one worth celebrating. And not just because I’m fishing for another gift.
It’s often been said that you don’t fully appreciate your mama until you yourself become one, and I have to say I’m definitely in agreement with that adage. You can’t possibly understand the selflessness this job requires until you have witnessed firsthand the mental incompetence caused by yearS of sleep deprivation (yes, plural – they don’t “sleep like a baby” when they’re babies OR when they’re toddlers); the compulsive need to keep them un-scratched, un-bumped, un-bruised and basically un-dead; the nerve-grating incessant whining and meltdowns; the body abuse from hoisting them with or without car seat into the car a billion-trillion times; the endless wash-downs of hands, bums, bottles, high chairs, clothes and bedding…need I go on?
I don’t think anyone will argue that being a mom is tough stuff. And the really tough part is, no one thanks you for it! At least not formally. It is without a doubt a thankless job. But we keep trucking on, in hopes that our tireless efforts with our babes will result in competent, well-adjusted, happy and GRATEFUL adults. Who may then finally thank us one Mother’s Day. Or any day, for that matter.
Since I was born, I know my own mom has doled out endless advice, counsel and consolation and has had to bear the brunt of plenty of Jordan sass. While I’ve always loved her pretty much more than anyone else on the planet, she’s also been the target of some of my most terrible behaviors. We often hurt the ones who love us most, right? ‘Cause it’s safe, and we know that love will always be there, no matter how bratty/bitchy/naughty we are.
I hope to give my boys that same safety net of love, realizing of course that said net will inevitably be pulled, poked and worn incredibly thin in the years to come.
So, be sure to say thank you to your mama on Mother’s Day for all the days she’s taken care of you – body and soul. And maybe get her a gift. We gladly accept those, too.
Here’s what’s on my “practical” Mother’s Day gift wish list:
I wish for…
#1 Logan to be potty trained.
It’s starting to just feel wrong being exposed to and disposing of this much poop. Ugh. C’mon, buddy. I’m gagging here.
#2 A king-sized bed.
A dog, two kids and two parents make a nice family. This same combination does not bode well for sleeping arrangements. Most mornings, I end up spooning the dog and sharing my pillow with two little monkeys who meander their way into my bed at some point in the early morning. And someone usually pees the bed. Or gets kicked in the balls. ‘Nuff said.
#3 A maid to do the dirty.
I’m pretty much a clean freak. I never leave dishes in the sink, and I sometimes make the beds before I even have my first sip of morning coffee. I simply cannot relax in an untidy space. I swear I spend 80% of my awake time cleaning up, yet I still feel like I do a half-assed job. I’d love to employ a little helper to scrub my shower, clean my baseboards, wipe my windowsills, wipe down my cabinets and take on all those other little deep cleaning duties I just cannot fit find time to fit in on a regular basis. I’m pretty sure this would also reduce my overall bitchiness by 80%.
#4 More sit-down meals.
The only meal I sit down for is dinner. Breakfast and lunch are typically shoveled in while I stand at the countertop, and my often-cold coffee usually follows me around the house while I tidy up, change diapers, get myself dressed, etc. What I wouldn’t give to park myself on the couch or at the table for 15 minutes to savor some hot caffeine or cereal. Would seriously be a luxury.
#5 A consistent workout.
Regular exercise fit in pretty nicely to my schedule when I just had Logan. We’d typically take a walk or a run together (in the stroller) every day. Now that Cam’s joined the fam, I’m seriously having a really rough time finding any time to work on my fitness, aside from walks here and there. Yes, I could get up at 6 a.m. and run (Nick’s suggestion when I complain about the post-baby bod), but I’m seriously so exhausted from the night’s regular pacifier-plug-ins, early morning feeding and whatever else is thrown my way with Logan and the dog, I need that extra snooze time to be a semi-nice person during the day. Lately, I feel like my body is itching for a physical challenge, so I definitely need an exercise epiphany in terms of how I can make a regular workout work.
Aaaaand my “less practical” wish list. Honestly, the hubs spoiled me for Valentine’s Day and my b-day this year, so my expectation is nil. That said, I am pretty great. And remember that whole super-hard, thankless job thing?
#1 Baroni Charms
My sister gave me a gold chain and Logan’s initial charm from Baroni for my birthday a few years ago, and it’s since become one of my favorite pieces of jewelry (Logan loves it when I wear my “L for Logan” necklace, too). I’d love to add Cameron’s initial, as well as another charm, such as my birthstone or this cute little owl. www.baronidesigns.com
#2 A Night Away at Bacara
We recently rented This is 40, and Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann’s carefree, kid-free trip to Laguna Beach reminded me of how important couple getaways are (minus the pot cookie). The squabbles subside, the sex is amazing and you’re both reminded that you’re a couple because you love each other, not just because you share children. I’d love for Nick to whisk me away to Santa Barbara for a night at Bacara – a gorgeous Mediterranean-style sanctuary where it’s impossible to not feel blissed out and blessed. www.bacararesort.com
#3 Some Killer Shoes
For some reason, Nick and I have a tradition of gifting each other shoes. There’s been Ugg boots, Lacoste sneaks, banana yellow Tory Burch flats for me and Diesel sneaks, Salomon trail shoes and Nike running shoes for him. To honor that tradition, I’d definitely give big love to these go-with-everything Tory Burch Adonis Espadrille Wedges. www.toryburch.com
#4 Westin White Tea Candles
Who buys candles from a hotel chain? This gal. It sounds really ridiculous, but I absolutely fell in love with the white tea scent the Westin Ka’anapali in Maui seems to be regularly spritzing out its lobby walls. My best description of it would simply be “sweet air.” Well, those smart cookies over at Westin decided to sell that seductive scent in candle form. They’re heaven, they’re expensive and of course you can’t buy anything in that same sniff-worthy scent anywhere else. Trust me, I checked. I currently have one, but would love to fill my bedroom with them. Plus, I just love the romantic look of tons of white candles. www.nordstrom.com
#5 A Subscription to People StyleWatch
This magazine is seriously my guilty pleasure. Actually, I really don’t feel guilty about it all. It’s a complete visual treat, and it stirs up a lot of great style inspiration whenever I snag a copy. Gift me this and a quiet morning to pore over its glossy contents? It’s the stuff dreams are made of. www.peoplestylewatch.com
What’s on your Mother’s Day wish list this year?